Culture Archives - Deft Communications

“I Just Came Here to Read the Comments”

June 27, 2016 by Jon 2 Comments

“Am I the only person here who loves to watch a couple together that hates each other’s guts?” begins a Dane Cook bit from his album Retaliation. Entitled “The Nothing Fight,” Cook shares a (probably fictional) anecdote about a couple he overhears in the grocery store arguing about something completely inconsequential and how he spies on them with voyeuristic glee from around the Entenmann’s display at the end of the aisle.

Although listening to it again, I don’t think it’s aged well. I found it uproarious upon its release and part of its relatability has to do with the familiarity of past failed relationships and remaining with someone you actively disliked as you continuously fought about any number of irrelevant things. The other part, the more interesting part, is Cook’s ghoulish schadenfreude delight at this couple having it out in a very public way. To whatever extent, most people take some guilty joy in gawking at a public altercation.

You used to have to leave your house to encounter something like this. With social media, it’s easier than ever, which brings me to this meme:

You’ve probably seen this in the thread of a Facebook friend who’s posted something controversial, political, or otherwise of public concern. And given your friend list, you probably know which of your friends tend to bring their flamethrowers to conversations, and it’s not unexpected, or even necessarily wrong, to take some pleasure in seeing how they’ll react this time. I understand this.

But flatly declaring your rubbernecking intent via this meme and that “I just came here to read the comments” is just plain gross.

I believe one of the most powerful ways we evolve and grow as people is by spending time with those whom we don’t always agree, and having civil conversations about the issues of the day.

I flew to Philadelphia recently with my friend Adam, and we ended up spending the whole flight talking about politics, policy, religion and whatever else came up. We came at the issues from slightly different angles, and while I didn’t necessarily change any of my opinions, I evolved them in a meaningful way as a result of involved discussion. I know I left the conversation feeling much stronger in my knowledge about the subject at hand, and by virtue of having listened to my friend without any preconceived agenda of the net result of that conversation, I ended up with a deeper sense of empathy.

For the record, one thing I will never concede to him is his ludicrous assertion while flying over the Delaware River that seeing it rendered George Washington’s crossing of it unremarkable since “that’s not that big, really.” GO BACK TO ENGLAND, YOU TURNCOAT! USA! USA! USA!

I recognize that a long, engaged conversation with someone you like and have liked and respected for more than a decade is different than sparring with a quasi-stranger on Facebook… but imagine if we treated the two interactions the same way. Imagine seeing something on Facebook, and instead of loading up with your best ammunition and firing at will, you instead sought greater understanding. That by understanding them better – no matter how unfathomably wrong you initially perceive them to be – you listen and you dig in, and by virtue of that effort, you actually understand yourself better.

I also recognize that some people are just wired to be jerks, and this utopian dithering I’m peddling isn’t universally practical. But I wholly believe elevating the discourse is. And for my money, the best way to start is getting these prurient bridge trolls who live to watch strangers combat each other to piss off.

Just to summarize the intent of these meme-posting jackals: Not only are you not here to contribute anything meaningful, you’re wishing for the absolute worst of the bottom-feeders to hurl Molotov cocktails at each other for your personal amusement. And you’re fully okay with declaring your intent as a grotesque sideshow patron. Swell.

Were you one of the kids who egged on the two school bullies to kick each other’s asses and get suspended while you cried innocence in the aftermath ignoring your culpability in making the environment more incendiary? Were you in Michael Vick’s backyard, too? Were you there with Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer in the back of Marcelino’s bodega at 3 in the morning to watch Little Jerry fight another rooster to try and get Jerry’s bounced clown check removed from the front counter? Did you buy one of those abhorrent Bum Fights videos?

You are the curiosity delay on the highway when there’s an accident going the other way that screws up everyone’s commute to work. You are the reason we have TMZ. You are “The Fappening.” You are the Huffington Post’s idiotic policy of covering Donald Trump’s presidential campaign as “entertainment,” and look where we are now on that front.

In short, you are the worst. Stop posting this.

Better yet, meme or no, stop doing this.

Pride in Energy

June 15, 2016 by Jon Leave a Comment

Kristin and I are allies. We fully support equal rights across the board for members of the LGBTQ community. We’re proud of this fact, and are happy to announce it publicly.

Our hearts go out to everyone affected by the tragedy in Orlando. Without injecting any unneeded politicality into this post, our sincere hope is that out of this horrific incident a better, more caring, and more conscientious culture emerges. We don’t know exactly how that would manifest, but our hope is that we never see an incident like this ever again, and that we take the steps toward that goal.

One of the best things to do, in our estimation, is to seek connectivity where it may not have existed before. With that in mind, I was proud to attend an event last night called Pride in Energy, co-hosted by the Colorado Petroleum Council (the Colorado outpost of the American Petroleum Institute) and One Colorado.

The Colorado Petroleum Council and One Colorado co-hosted Pride in Energy on April 14, 2016 in Denver discussing LGBTQ rights and the oil and gas industry.

That’s an aggressively crappy picture of the screen from the event, but I didn’t want to disturb the panel of speakers who told their stories of being in the LGBTQ community (or being an LGBTQ ally) while working in oil and gas. What was so striking about their stories was that to some extent they all experienced the fear of revealing their true selves to their colleagues in an industry that stereotypically values toughness, traditional notions of masculinity, and leans very conservative. Much to their surprise, what they encountered (more often than not) was not anger or disgust, but welcoming and happiness that their colleague whom they liked, felt comfortable enough to fully be themselves. Their coming out stories were inspirational for how – and I don’t want to seem like I’m downplaying the courage it took to do this or the personal significance of the reveal because I’m very much not – pedestrian they were.

Unless you’re a truly and fully narrow-minded, bigoted, and ideologically entrenched psycho (and some do exist), finding out that your friend and colleague is gay (or bisexual or transgendered) shouldn’t be a big deal. In an ideal world, all coming out stories will end with the person receiving the news being nonplussed by it. That would mean we’ve achieved equality and that sexual orientation is no longer A THING. It’s just a thing.

The panel at Pride Energy, co-hosted by the Colorado Petroleum Council and One Colorado on June 14, 2016. — The panel at Pride in Energy, co-hosted by the Colorado Petroleum Council and One Colorado on June 14, 2016.

I’m thrilled that the folks onstage in the photo above are willing to push us in that direction in a space that hasn’t seen much of this type of thing historically. To create real change, it almost always starts with a brave few before you can build critical mass. Those folks above are the brave few, and I’m just happy to play a small role in helping to build critical mass.

As the panel concluded, a question was asked about the future of both LGBTQ rights and the oil and gas industry. I’ll offer my response. Oil and gas issues are almost associated with Republicans. LGBTQ rights issues are almost always associated with Democrats. It’s convenient to think of the world in binary terms. I hate binary. I like complexity. I like creativity. I like unpredictability.

LGBTQ rights and the continued responsible production of American oil and natural gas are two issues that don’t often intersect for us, but are two issues we care deeply about. It’s a thrill to see them come together last night, and I applaud both the Colorado Petroleum Council and One Colorado for making that connection happen through Pride in Energy.

Here’s hoping for more creative connections going forward. For blowing up boring binaries. For increased understanding from people on both sides of any issue. And for the courage to continue pushing our culture forward in new, interesting, and beneficial ways.

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The Insanity and Banality of the Iowa Caucuses

February 1, 2016 by Jon Leave a Comment

The Iowa Caucuses logo: https://twitter.com/iacaucus2016

I doubt anyone who reads this doesn’t know that today the Iowa Caucuses occur. If this is, in fact, news to you, I salute your reclusive commitment to avoidance of current events coverage. To the rest of you, I suspect you feel as exhausted by this process as I do.

Watching this ceaseless dog and pony show drag on and on all throughout Iowa – and, to a slightly lesser extent, New Hampshire – not only has me fatigued of every candidate, but has undermined some of my faith in democracy. Because this strikes me as an insane way of electing a president.

This is not to say the most important job in the world doesn’t deserve a thorough and exhaustive vetting process – it absolutely does – but is this the best we can do? Candidates started showing up in Iowa as early as 2013 to garner support in the first stop of this turgid slog of a campaign season. That’s three years courting voters, who, when it comes time to actually elect a president, account for a mere six electoral votes out of 538 possible. Throw in New Hampshire, and that number climbs to a robust 10.

That’s a lot of photo ops in front of ethanol fueling stations, “ad hoc” stump speeches at pizza joints, and town halls filled with people I have a hard time imagining exist in real life. I’ve voted in every election I possibly could since 2000 and work tangentially in government and politics, which is to say, I’m much deeper in this shit in a very real way than the vast majority of the general populace. And I’ve attended exactly one rally in the last 15 years.

Who are the people who show up to these things again and again, having had the option at one point of nearly two dozen candidates across both major parties? Who can stand having the traffic screwed up in their town that frequently?

It was in partially answering this question that I adored Will Leitch’s piece, “Iowa Electorate Is Sophisticated—and Impressively Modest” for Bloomberg.com. In it, Leitch paints a picture of a citizenry neither particularly enthralled with, nor irritated by, the constant chattering and to-do of the process of the Iowa Caucuses. They simply accept it as part of their lives.

While that isn’t terribly surprising – humans, no matter our circumstance, will generally find new equilibrium – I was charmed by their resigned acceptance. Leitch describes two scenes of benign indifference in the piece that stood out to me. The first sees a group of ladies who hold a monthly lunch at a pizzeria completely nonplussed by a Rick Santorum pitch in another part of the restaurant – they recognized what was happening, but kept on with their routine regardless. The second sees Leitch stumble upon two teenagers who’ve found a secluded spot in the parking lot of a Ted Cruz rally to make out in their car. I used to make out with my girlfriends in the parking lots of trailheads after hours when I was in high school. Had I lived in Iowa, co-opting a parking lot where people’s attention is diverted strikes me as a fine idea.

Compare this to the Cracked.com article from yesterday entitled “4 Ways The Presidential Race Has Destroyed Iowa,” as misleadingly inflammatory an article title as there ever was. Granted, the story involving Carly Fiorina appropriating an elementary school field trip to use the kids as props as she stumped for right-to-life policy is sort of grotesque, but stating that this process has “destroyed Iowa” is ridiculous.

The general thrust of the article is true, though. The focus given to Iowa is disproportionate to its overall effect and influence on the general election, and that we spend up to three years hearing about it is ludicrous. As for what to do about it, I’m as clueless as anyone else. Is this an indictment of a 24-hour news cycle? Probably. Does this beckon an overhaul of how we elect candidates? Maybe.

All I know is that virtually every sane person I know is already burned out on this presidential race, and we still have nine whole months to go. And since every candidate has already delivered more than a couple fistfuls of shallow platitudes, keeping with that spirit, here’s one from me:

Whoever your dog in this fight is, I wish them the best, and may they succeed not only in these Iowa Caucuses, but New Hampshire, and on to your party’s nomination. I’m confident they’ll be successful in transforming this country for the better, as they so claim. You know why? I’ll give the last, radically rational words to Will Leitch:

“This election is a big deal for the rest of us. But here in Iowa, it’s just another part of the landscape. Not something to ignore. But not something to get all that worked about, either. This strikes me, as it turns out, as the sanest way to react to this presidential election, and all of them. The trains will still run, the guitar will still need to be practiced, the car will still need to be parked, the Price Is Right live show must go on. Listen to the Iowans. Even when we’re all gone.”

Birthdays, Taylor Swift, and more…

September 22, 2015 by Jon Leave a Comment

Each year on my birthday I make a Mix CD to commemorate the occasion. Today on the Jon of All Trades blog, I share that mix with the world, and offer perspective on the year past.

The majority of this year’s essay focuses on how the song “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift hit me like a freight train and how I’ve misjudged Taylor Swift so hideously these last several years. From the essay:

“I sat agog. This was Taylor Swift? This song that’s clearly a clever play on her public perception and turns the narrative on its head, but has just a hint of exhausted sadness at its core – this was Taylor Swift? This song that’s got a driving, head-nodding beat, but likely functions as a smokescreen obfuscating deep bruises and real pain – this was Taylor Swift? This gorgeous, delicate, powerful voice that contains equal parts innocence and world-weary cynicism – this was Taylor Swift?

“Shit, I’ve been missing out.”

To read the entire thing, and to see the music I’ve been most keen on this year, head on over to Jon of All Trades and check it out. Link to full article.

Digital Memory

September 3, 2015 by Jon Leave a Comment

A few mornings ago as I finished feeding my 10 month-old daughter, I had The Today Show on in the background. A girl-pop group I’d never heard of called Little Mix performed, and offered fun, dancey, cotton candy jams to the adoring group of adolescent girls in the audience who nodded along enthusiastically. None of this is exactly news, and before you completely tune out of this post, I promise I have a point.

Little Mix on The Today Show. Image from Demotix.com

The thing that struck me watching them perform was how the live audience was watching them. So many of the audience members weren’t looking directly at Little Mix as they jumped and danced and sang onstage, they looked at Little Mix through the small screen of their phone capturing and saving the moment in their personal digital files forever (presumably – although how long any individual digital files lives is anyone’s guess), a small, individual version of a performance seen by millions of people.

Here is but a small sample of the phone barrage. Photo taken from Perrie Edwards' Zimbio page. — Here is but a small sample of the phone barrage. Photo taken from Perrie Edwards’ Zimbio page.

I understand the impulse, but my question is: Is this actually a good thing?

As I write this post, I have more than 2,000 photos saved on this very hard drive. After taking a quick digital stroll through them, many of these photos I haven’t looked at in years, and, to be perfectly honest, many of them suck quality-wise. What I am saving them for? What will I do with them? I can’t delete them because the thought of doing that makes me want to have a panic attack. These are my memories. I can’t just cast them aside. How cold-hearted would I have to be to discard MEMORIES???? [clutches pearls]

But to get philosophical for a moment, if I never look at these photos, what’s the point in having them? Do they even exist in a practical sense if I never look at them? Are my memories more or less important with the existence of these photos I never look at? And am I more inclined to discard a memory if all I have to remember is that I took a photo of it, and it exists somewhere in the bottomless pit of my hard drive?

I don’t have answers to any of these questions, but what I do know to be objectively true is that those girls in the audience recording Little Mix while watching them perform outside 30 Rock are not enjoying their performance to the fullest the first time, which is the best time. They’re staring at them on a little screen and not absorbing the show in all its glory with their very own eyes.

If they’re hoping to keep their very own little version of the performance for all-time, fine. Again, I get it. But have you ever re-watched video you’ve taken of a live music performance on your phone? I can pretty much guarantee you it’s not even a close facsimile of what the experience was like live and in person. It’s removed, tiny, and antiseptic. The sound quality sucks, and the video is nothing like you remember it looking. Honestly, re-watching a concert video you took yourself is incredibly dispiriting.

By contrast, I can recall with incredible clarity the last time I saw Strung Out (one of my favorite bands) perform their first two albums in their entirety. I remember where I stood in the Summit Music Hall, I remember how lead singer Jason Cruz looked as the sweat cascaded off him and soaked his black shirt and tight black pants, and I remember very vividly putting my arm around the dude next to me (someone I’d never met, and haven’t seen since) and singing our faces off as our favorite band tore the house down. The lucidity of this memory is stronger than even the best HD camera used by the best photojournalist in the entire world.

And yet I can’t always help myself, and find myself struck by the desire to capture, catalog, and preserve forever. This is just how we live now. It’s a point that’s been made before, and one that was probably best captured in the Sports Illustrated cover photo of American Pharaoh winning the Triple Crown. Look at everyone trying to capture the moment on their own little device to preserve for eternity.

Click photo for original story on SI.com

As someone who partially makes his living in the digital space, part of me hesitates even publishing this essay because the central thesis here could be read as articulating the pointlessness of digital artifacts and the advocacy of living in the moment, not in the endless void of cyberspace and digital storage. As a content provider, professional obligation requires me to want you to keep staring at your phone.

But simply as a member of the world, I want you to pick your head up and experience the world as it happens, not through a substandard-to-your-magical-and-endlessly-capable-brain intermediary. You are your own best capturer, cataloger, and preserver. And I’m certain you don’t need ME to explain this to you, but a gentle reminder never hurt anyone.

I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit. And since thanks to smartphones life is an open book test, we don’t have to give ourselves enough credit. It’s easier to check the box and store everything in the magical pocket device. Hey, at least I know it’s there. I’ve got my digital memory all shored up.

But your real memory trumps your digital memory every time. I’m trying to learn to trust mine more. Will you?

The Kids Are Alright

July 9, 2015 by Jon Leave a Comment

While in Chicago recently, I got into an argument with my mom and uncle about music. My uncle basically asserted that “only the music of the 60s and 70s had substance” (which is ludicrous on its face), but allowed me to break out a line from one of the most underrated movies of our generation, Airheads. I said, “Is that a fact? So are you gonna tell me that ‘Purple Haze’ says something?”

We ended up going back and forth for several minutes while I basically served as defense counsel for three decades of music and youth culture in general. It’s a stance I take up probably more than I should, but for whatever reason when people want to pick on the youngest generation, it always gets my hackles up. I can’t fight the urge to call nonsense on this entire posture. Here’s a quote to illustrate why:

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”

You know who said that? Socrates.

So literally, crapping on the new generation has been going on since the beginning of civilization, and yet we persevere. Starting with Socrates, if every generation seems to be worse than the one that preceded it, how are we even still here? Because that belief is just patently wrong, that’s why. The new generation is fine. They’re just different, and that’s frightening.

A perfect example is this Slate article called “Why Teenagers Love Making Jokes About 9/11.” The article’s title is slightly misleading because what teenagers actually love to mock are 9/11 Truthers, who, with some distance and ironic detachment, look increasingly ridiculous. I encourage you to read the whole thing, but summarized, I think this line is telling:

“Teenagers have surveyed the digital artifacts left in the wake of their parents’ trauma and decided they were taking up too much cultural space. So they’re flattening them into jokes and throwing them away.”

That’s wonderful! That’s progress! Dammit, that’s seeking to make the world a better place. They’re taking these 9/11 Truther memes and now using them to scathe the idiocy of anti-vaxxers as well. If that isn’t evidence of tremendous critical thinking and cultural appropriation in the name of science, logic, and rationality, I don’t know what is.

Teenagers necessarily have a unique worldview, and in expressing it, they disorient the hegemony we take for granted as we age. I’m grateful for this disruption. And although the older we get, the more uncomfortable that disruption becomes, it’s inevitable, so why fret and why not embrace it?

And lest you think the teenage world is all Weird Twitter and non-sequitir memes on social media platforms you don’t use, check out this video: Teens React to 90’s Fashion – JNCO Jeans.

Listen to those kids talk about how big those pant legs are! And why would anyone wear these?!? You know who they sound like? They sound just like their grandparents. Yep, those same people who freaked out when their kids wore them to school in the 90s.

I personally remember those exact reactions from the parents at my school when JNCOs were popular, and to hear these same traditionalist opinions from people nearly 20 years my junior only made me laugh. Hard.

And I laugh because while it’s expected that teenagers will surprise you with their opinions, it’s not usually in the direction of agreeing with the oldest generation. You never know what they’re going to say. But I do know one thing.

The kids are alright. The kids are always alright.

(This post was partially inspired by a Facebook conversation with William and Ryan Nee. h/t to William Nee for posting the Slate article on his wall.)